The Stream Flows…

I was making rice…pondering things.  I’ve decided the most conclusive sentence to describe what happened is “I let you become so much a part of me, that I let the fear of losing so much of myself, push you away.”  We fit well together.. and it strangely destroyed us.

Mmm.. Rice with Cream of Broccoli and Cheese Soup.

The Stream Flows…

I‘m done… I’m through breathing smoke and seeking answers in the resulting haze.  I hope you’re holding out.. I know staying in that house must be hard… I don’t know where to go from here. I check my e-mail and wait for a text, every day.  I know it will likely never come, but I hope.

I didn’t get a single call on Christmas.  Few good friends texted their holiday blessings, thank you to those people.

I miss feeling genuinely cared about on a daily basis.  That isn’t to say friends and family don’t care, it just can’t be expected that they can make it evident daily, she managed to do that.  That’s what I miss, that’s the wound that needs to heal.

The Stream Flows…

3:30 in the morning Christmas Day.  I’m reminded of my youth.  I’ve always been an early riser. Somethings never change, I guess.

I hope your holidays are treating you well… I hope the weather is beautiful.  I miss you, but I guess that’s a given by now…

At least there’s turkey on the menu tonight.

Merry Christmas,  everyone.

The Stream Flows…

I was awake until I couldn’t remember when I’d slept last.. finally passed out at noon.. yesterday?  I can’t shake the thoughts I sit here alone with.  I guess I just wish I had someone to talk to…

I expect my days will continue to melt together.. at least until my roommate returns.  Some company over the holidays, one thing to be thankful for.

The Stream Flows…

I find… pieces of you, everywhere… It’s like finding grains of sand all over your house after coming home from the beach.  The sand that sticks to the walls on the top half of the hourglass, refusing to fall.

I often wish I could just brush them free.  Someday grains of sand won’t make my heart skip a beat.  Someday I’ll find a new beach.  Today I take slow.