t’s been a long time since I was in a position where it was necessary to mask my anxiety issues for a whole day. It takes more out of me than I remember. I’ve been left so drained, and today’s ‘first of many’ was a far cry from difficult.
It’s important to keep in mind that each step makes the next easier. Tonight I will sleep early. Hours of sleeplessness last night did me no favors.
I told myself I would slow down. I told myself I would stop. There are more important things at stake now. I guess I don’t know how to stop doing the only thing that calms me enough to close my eyes.
Comfort me, Riptide. Impose your will on the dreams and nightmares that would serve to distract me.
I’ve been texting her. It’s not my place to be, but I’ll admit, it’s nice to be reminded of constants to be thankful for. I miss you, Little One, not a day goes by I don’t think about you and wish things could have been different. I’m sure we made the right choice… please know it was because we loved you.