The Stream Flows…

I feel both trapped and disregarded.  I’m a prisoner of thoughts I can’t control and emotions that do not listen. My inability to feel comfort in the expression of either around you is a product of how my past expression has been met with anger, frustration, derision.

My fear was met with resentment.. It wasn’t my choice to cry half the night in silence.. it was yours to get in my face during a state of fear and confusion, throwing me out instead of.. trying to understand with me.

My heart free falls once more.. waiting for compassion to catch it.

The Steam Flows…

My head throbs under the weight of all the thoughts I don’t have time or energy to explore.. under the pressure built up by all the words I can’t seem to speak.

I don’t find satisfaction in being alone.  I never have.  None of the tricks I learned as an only child seem applicable in adulthood.  I’ve spent my life evolving inwardly.  I want to evolve outwardly now.  I carry no shame in wanting to share that experience with someone close…  I carry only malcontent in the face of the reality that I’ve not found someone who wants to come along..

Filling time for the sake of filling time is wasteful.